Finished six cycles today. Bell, tears, then straight to bed.
I finished my sixth chemo cycle today.
The nurses clapped, my brother took a picture, and I rang the bell even though I thought I would be too embarrassed. Then I came home, took off my shoes by the bed, and slept for three hours with my phone still in my hand.
I am proud. I am also wiped out and a little scared of the quiet after active treatment. Everyone keeps saying you must be so relieved, and I am, but I am also looking around like the room changed shape and nobody told me.
Tonight I am eating toast, drinking ginger tea, and letting the dishes stay where they are. I made it through this part. That is the whole post.
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Bell and bed is a complete celebration. Congratulations on finishing six cycles. The dishes can wait for a version of you that did not just do chemo.
My brain made finished into a full-time job. The actual task was smaller; the feelings were not.
The quiet after active treatment was harder than I expected. During chemo I had a schedule, labs, appointments, people checking in, and a clear next step. After the last cycle, everyone else relaxed while I felt like I had been dropped into open water.
What helped was telling my oncologist's office at follow-up that the transition felt emotionally rough. They pointed me toward support resources and reminded me what symptoms or concerns should be called in. On the home side, I made one small plan for each day so the blank space did not swallow me. Congratulations. Mixed feelings are allowed at the finish line.
Toast is party food when your body has been through six cycles. I have one more to go and this made me cry in a good way.
Let the dishes sit. Let the tea be enough. You made it through this part.
I am finishing next month and already anxious about people expecting me to bounce back. Thank you for making room for proud and scared together.